How to Handle Community Conflict During HOA Meetings
Some communities inevitably have a bully who attends board meetings to push their agenda, belittle other members' proposals, or even make others uncomfortable with their aggressive behavior. Sometimes, it may be a homeowner; other times, it may be a fellow board member. So, what can you do to peacefully and proactively handle the neighborhood bully so the rest of the community can feel at ease and have their voices heard?
Concerning Behavior
The first step in handling community bullies is to identify the bully. Sometimes, it's evident by their critical behavior, belittling others, attempting to take over the HOA meeting, or using foul language. Other times, their tactics are more subtle. The bully could use guilt to play the victim to get their way.
Anyone who oppresses others or uses aggression can be considered a bully. If you find a bully in your midst, a few ways can diffuse the situation. Try these tactics:
Talk Privately in Person
There could be a situation where the bully doesn't even realize their actions can be hurtful or annoying. They may have no clue that others consider them a bully! That's why it's always best to discuss the issue face-to-face in a private setting. A quick conversation could end a misunderstanding before it gets out of hand.
While talking to the perceived bully in person could be intimidating, you should send a quick text or email instead. It's important to remember that the likelihood of miscommunication is much less probable during a face-to-face conversation. When communicating in person, the bully can understand your tone and the dialogue, hopefully leading to a quick understanding.
Leave Opinions at the Door
If a quick in-person conversation doesn't do the trick, rely on facts rather than opinions. Sometimes, bullies can derail an HOA meeting. Being prepared with facts can get the meeting back on track, ultimately allowing you to push forward on the meeting agenda and become effective and efficient HOA members.
Using facts in discussions also builds the trust of your colleagues and meeting attendees. Using data and statistics is always more convincing than personal opinions.
Dismiss the Bully From the Board
Board members can use the ideas above when a community member gets out of line and causes concern for others. But what if the bully is on the board? Most HOA rules and bylaws give power to the board to oust an HOA member if they are not acting appropriately and in the community's best interest. A simple vote does this.
Contact Us
Everyone wants peace and harmony within the community. Suppose a simple, calm, respectful conversation doesn't remedy the issue; facts still need to be noticed. In that case, you should consult your HOA management company or your association's legal counsel. Contact Condominium Association today!